For the past four years, I have been teaching in a large public school district. I got this job right after I graduated from college and got married. I graduated with a dual certification in special education & elementary education. My student teaching was in an approved private school for children with Autism, and I knew I wanted to work with that population when I had my own classroom. So, technically, the position I have been teaching in for 4 years was in my “dream job”.
However, I am 26 years old, and I am completely burnt out.
That is so sad to me.
I could go into every reason WHY I am burnt out, and whine and complain about the public schools’ special education system, but I don’t want to stoop to that level.
I was constantly struggling – I did very well at my job. The kids deserve a teacher who would give 200%. I followed the verse:
“Whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men…It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
I have been working 10-12 hours Monday-Friday, taking Saturday as my “weekend”, and then Sundays after church until I went to bed were designated to preparing for a new week. Even when I was home after my 10-12 hour work days, I was consumed with my work. I couldn’t stop checking my work e-mail, I couldn’t stop worrying about my kids, and there was always paperwork to do.
In essence: My job became my life
My sweet husband has been extremely patient with me for the past four years. Since I started this job right after we got married, this has defined our entire married life. He knows that every Sunday, I park by the computer and don’t get up until he’s already asleep for the night. He understands that I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about my students. He listens to me cry way more often than I should. He honestly has been the most wonderful and patient husband through my entire career, and I am beyond thankful for him.
This was me during an extended family gathering – separated from everyone, working on IEPs
We want to start thinking about having children. I cannot even imagine doing this job while having my own children. I honestly felt like I had 9 children while I was teaching – I would call them “my kids”, I would talk about them all the time, I love them way too much. They aren’t “my kids”. They have their own moms to come home to after school. These kids will forever hold a piece of my heart, and it truly broke my heart to say “goodbye” to them.
That is why the decision to resign was probably the hardest decision I have ever made. But I know, after months and months of prayers and conversation, that this is absolutely the right decision for me & my little family.
I need to start thinking about my family. It’s hard, because I am not pregnant. We aren’t planning on getting pregnant right away. But I couldn’t commit to another year of teaching, because that would mean that it was another year of putting my job before my family.
I am working on living my life, and making my family my first priority.
I want to spend quality time with my husband. I want to start getting excited about having kids together.
I want to be a friend again – I have been a terrible friend to some amazing people over the past 4 years because I just didn’t have any extra time to give them.
I want my job to be just that – my job.
I don’t want to have a job that becomes my life.
That being said, I have been working a second job that will be a “perfect job” for when my husband and I start a family. I can make my own schedule, choose to accept/deny clients, and not have paperwork after hours. I will be providing cognitive therapy to children from birth-3 years old in their homes through a private therapy group. I’m working on building up my clientele, and enjoying some extra time to breathe.
I should also have some more time to blog! I’m excited to build more relationships with my blogging community as well!
If you made it to the end of this very wordy post – I feel like I should give you a prize Thank you for “listening” to me and letting me share my heart. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments – or e-mail me!
Jess@CoxsCorner says
What a tough decision to make! I’m excited for you to start your new chapter in your life!
Allison says
Christina, I am SO proud of you! Taking care of yourself is priority #1 when you have your own kids. Good for you!! The second job sound perfect for you!! Wishing you the best!
Lou-Ann Rogers says
Such a hard decision! God bless you and your husband as you put God first, and then each other. Once you have children and they are grown, you can think about going back–I could not have done full-time teaching when my kids were young; sometimes I think I shouldn’t have done it before they were grown and gone. But thanks for sharing; I believe that you will be rewarded for your tough choice!
Rebecca @ My Girlish Whims says
So happy that you will have more time to breathe and spend time with your hubby – and so excited for more posts from you as well and more bloggy fun things….like maybe collaborating on a Philly blogger met-up sometime?? 🙂
carol says
I was a teachers aide for children with intellectual disabilities for 16 years. My fave part was working with children with autism. I did not leave my job by choice, I was part of the job cuts in 2011. I understand completely how the “job” becomes your life. Although I was not directly responsible for the mounds of paperwork and testing the certified teachers took care of, I am well aware of all that was involved for each student.
I wish you the best on your new endeavor and look foward to more posts and follow ups on this journey.
Hannah says
I cannot imagine how much thought went into making such a tough decision. There is so much more to life than work, work, work! Sadly, this is why so many teachers get completely burnt out. Sounds like you are doing something very similar to what I am doing right now. I wish you all the best my friend!
Meeha says
Good for you, Christina! It is a very brave decision and I’m sure it wasn’t easy to make the final cut. But only good times (quality time) lie ahead 🙂
Fellow teacher says
Dear Christina,
Best wishes to you as you start your new chapter. As a fellow teacher, I know the many extra hours we work beyond our contract to give our students the best learning experiences we can while still having enough emotional reserve to be patient, caring and compassionate. If you work fewer hours to recover, you pay for it at school by feeling anxious because you have to scramble and end up feeling like the worst teacher in the world. It’s an impossible job even though it’s incredibly rewarding as you know. After you’ve done it long enough, you can still be care deeply for your students but you learn that build some boundaries–you can still love them but the anxiety doesn’t help anyone. Those kids and families were lucky to have you as you seem like an incredibly hard working and caring teacher.
Monica says
I am so thankful for my beautiful daughter-in-law. She is gorgeous inside & out fir many many reasons. So glad God led you to etown ‘ then to Taylor’s then to teaching and now to your hearts desires. We love you dearly!
Caitlin @ HH says
Good for you. It sounds like you were an amazing teacher while you were doing it and I know how hard the job is. The kids were lucky to have you when you were working so hard, but it sounds like you are self aware enough to know when enough was enough.
Congrats and good luck in the new chapter!
Andrea says
Wow! Thanks for the explanation. I was so curious when I saw your post about resigning. After reading what you’ve been going through, I completely see where you are coming from! I really respect and admire your decision and priorities and I will be praying for you in this transition!
Mindie says
I read your entire post. I can say I think you made the right decision, and it’s one I had to make too. I went to school to teach, and taught for a while after college, and realized that it was so consuming. I too felt like it became all of me, and that wasn’t how I wanted to spend my life. You could look into working for Professional Tutors of America, you could still do it while you continue your new job and building clients. I tutored math part time for 5 years with them. The pay is good, and you make your own schedule. They find clients for you, in whatever field you want to tutor in. The best part is, it’s one on one, and generally no lesson plans, your there just to tutor in a specific subject. Good luck with your new life, and the baby making, that’s always fun 😉
Liz @ Here's to Handy Andy says
Thanks for sharing! Definitely sounds like you made the best decision for your family, and it’s amazing that you let the Lord direct you into and out of your position at the right time. I’m sure you blessed many kids’ lives in the process! 🙂
Crystal says
Good for you for recognizing that your were burnt out and having the courage to change. Way to live with audacious faith!
Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Just Jaime says
Well good for you for figuring this out! I worked closely with 4 Special Ed teachers (for Emotionally Disturbed units) and they work their tail ends off. I’m amazed at their patience. I think it’s great that you are able to take a break before trying to get pregnant as well. Good luck!
Kari says
As a fellow teacher, I completely understand! Prayers are coming your way!!!
Stacy says
Well done! I understand where you are and were. I taught 8 years in reg elem and after having my first baby, the working that first year of her life, I knew I had to leave teaching. I missed too much of her special moments. That was 12 years and 2 more kids ago. I know it is daunting to leave something that was such a part of you, but you’ll be so relieved you did when you look back….after your kids are born.
Best wishes to you—
JOY says
I loved teaching in the beginning of my career. The last 10 of my 30 were the toughest, because administration made taking the test the priority because that’s what the public saw as success or failure, good or bad scores. Therefore, we didn’t have time to teach students the things they needed to know to be a productive citizen, unless they were going to be paid to take tests. Teaching was taken over by paperwork that supposedly proved we were teaching. I’m seeing far too many wonderful, dedicated teachers like you having to leave the field because of the inhumane demands being made of teachers these days. I can’t tell you how many times when an administrator has said they know how much they are demanding and if you don’t like it, leave! I’m so glad you were able to find another way to channel your desires & passion. Your blog did a wonderful job explaining why anyone, and I’m betting mostly elementary teachers, have left teaching sometime during their first 5 years. enJOYed your post very much. Thanks for being brave enough to share. I don’t think the public has a clue. Keep up the great work! The sign outside my classroom for several years read: “It’s not important that we are busy, but what we are busy doing.”
Sarah Welch says
Oh I’m REALLY happy for you Tina!!!!! Love the emphasis of putting family first because that’s not something society will stress. Can’t wait to see what this next chapter holds for you! Did your mom tell you we’re coming up for the wedding!!!!!! SOOO excited to see you and get some catch up time!
Western Warmth says
I’ve been where you are (with a different career), and 10 years later have no regrets. Best wishes on your part-time gig, your blog, and making a home and family. Hope it brings you great joy!
Love your blog!
Bobi
http://westernwarmth.blogspot.com
Pam says
Well said, sweetie. You have done a fantastic job with your students and have worked very hard. They will miss you. You have made the right decision. I am excited for what’s coming ahead for the two of you.
Leighann says
Good for you! I have many friends that are teachers, and also special ed teachers…so many have said that it saddens them they spend more time on red tape and paperwork than with “their kids” (at school, that is). It’s important to love and enjoy what you do, and not let it define who you are…else you stop giving it 100% (or 200%). Best wishes to you!
Suzy says
Good for you, girl! It’s a scary thing to do, but it will be so worth it!! A decision made for your family is never the wrong one! 🙂
Myra says
Christina, our LORD leads His children and I am so delighted to know He IS leading you. You are a very talented and sweet-spirited woman who will say “surely Your boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” I am glad you are listening to Him….and it will be exciting the watch all the delight to come. I have been blessed by the things you have made for me, and in seeing your gifts used. As a teaching peer, I totally understand. (You will likely be VERY understood by your teaching “sisters” …i.e. those of faith). It’s a difficult ministry in our public schools. WAY too much is asked. And devoted people have to sacrifice things God never intended. I also struggle with time/commitment and I’m on the other side of the raising a family issue. I will be praying for you CH, as you come to mind. LOVE your blog, by the way, having just found it!
Hugs, my friend.
Allison {A Glimpse Inside} says
I know that was a tough decision but I am sure you will be so happy with it in the end! I am so happy that you already have something new that you are enjoying and that you can make your own schedule with. And since I just became a momma… yeah for the soon-to-be little Hibbs that will be coming! 🙂 Very exciting! This sure is a whole new adventure and full time job so I totally understand that you want to dedicate yourself to your family fully. Good luck my dear!
Melissa says
I just found your blog through Pinterest, and happened to read this entry. I am so glad I did. I am 27 and after four years of teaching, I walked away from my teaching job. I taught a content area in high school but I experienced the exact same burnout you did. I loved my kids and I loved parts of my job, but I felt so crushed – I couldn’t take it anymore.
Since then I started work on my master’s degree online through the American College of Education and I can’t say enough good things about their M.Ed. program. I’ll graduate in May and I’ve found part-time teaching work and tutoring that has allowed me to keep bringing in some income while in school. My husband has been awesome in supporting me.
Anyways, it’s really good to hear from others who have been there, done that… thanks for sharing your experiences so honestly!
christina says
Way to go Christina!! I’m not sure how I came across your blog but it was like reading my future blog. I am a special education teacher (autism) and I am about to go into my 4th year teaching in the public school system. School isn’t even back yet and the stress of the new school year is already starting…everything you have to prepare and do and then you still have to stress about is that the best thing to do? what else can I try? it never ends 🙁 I just got married and am thinking about my own kids in the near future (God willing)!! I could neverrrrr do what I do…how could you possibly maintain sanity!? Anywho, I appreciated your post!! It was a relief that there are good people out there that feel the same way I do….I was thinking I was such a wimp for not even making it 4 years and feeling burnt out. That’s just what happens to best of the best I guess 😉 Good luck to you!!
Teenah says
Wow, though it was a hard decision, it’s great to hear your story. It’s good to know there are others out there who had a similar experience, I left my pursuit of a teaching career 3 years ago. I work a regular 9-5 type job now. I do miss teaching sometimes, but I don’t miss the long hours and the stress and anxiety. I think you made the right decision, good luck with the new “perfect job” 🙂
Kim says
Hi Christina,
I look at what you just wrote and fear this will soon be me. The fear I talk about is the burnt out teacher. I’m 25 and this is my first year teaching an autistic support class. My students will range in ages 5-7. I have already given up my whole summer to prepare my classroom, and school starts in a little more than a week, and I have so much to do still. I want you to know that I got many of my ideas from your blog. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the waiting table idea. Good luck in the next chapter of your life, and I will try my hardest to not let my job take over my life!
Kelsey says
Hi Kim,
I’m curious how your first year was? I’m 26 and heading into my first year teaching a middle school autism program. What did you do well and what would you go back and redo? I’m afraid of getting burnt out also and want to know what you may have done to not let that happen! Thanks!
Cheryl Bigenho says
Christina, I am so, so proud of you and know you have made the right decision for your little family. You know my children are grown and almost out of the house, and yet I still feel like I am barely keeping my head above water with my classroom, my relationship with Jerry, and staying in close contact with our kids who have flown from the nest. People don’t realize what a HUGE consuming commitment it is to be a teacher. I know you spent a lot of time praying about this, and God’s answer was clear. I am so excited about the opportunities coming your way and proud of you for stepping out in faith to follow your heart.
Julie says
I cannot tell you how incredibly helpful this post has been to me. I have just begun teaching my third year in an autism program. This year I have an incredibly challenging group of k-1 students and have begun to feel extremely guilty as I look ahead to the future and realize that I cannot keep up this pace the rest of my life. Like you, I LOVE my kiddos, but as my husband and I both start looking towards starting a family, I know in my heart that I do not have enough energy to provide my kiddos with the support and instruction that they deserve as well as care for a family. Good luck to both you and your husband as you start your family.
Jeanna says
I can so relate to your blog. I have been teaching special education on and off for the past 24 years and have struggled with balancing family life and work life. I’ve raised two great children but have had to take breaks from work to regain balance. Our work becomes our lives because it is such important work. Don’t feel bad about taking a break and don’t think that you won’t return to the classroom. Rejuvinate and then return. Too bad that university don’t address this because it is a common issue for all teachers but I think especially for special education teachers. Good luck.
Chrissie P says
I’m not even sure how I happened upon your blog, but it’s so crazy to read this! I’m 37 and am just starting my first classroom position in 12 years. I’ll be in a K-1 Autistic room with 4 paraprofessionals. I, however, am coming FROM early intervention. I left the classroom many years ago to have flexibility for my family…just like you. Now, I’m pushing 40 and heading right back in for a pension. LOL. I absolutely loved my time in EI! In fact, I’m still doing it…hopefully I won’t be too overwhelmed. Anyway, can’t wait to read more of your blog! Good luck to you!!
Trinity B. says
Wow…you and I could have such a conversation on this! I don’t know how I missed this post before….Anyway, I too left education, after 10 years. I know those 15 hour days, up until 2am working on grades, test prep, plans….only to get up at 5 and start all over again. I have 2 girls and felt like I couldn’t stop to help them, because I was so busy with everyone else’s children. It was a hard, and I mean HARD decision, but I left. Now, I’m hoping to find something that will allow me time to enjoy both: a job and my family. Although I sure do miss my school babies, I thank God for this time with my own children and think it was the right decision. Sounds like it was right for you too. You sound like a great teacher and person, and I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do! 🙂
Lisa Van Gemert says
Teaching is the hardest work you’ll ever leave. I learned that. I also learned that there is an important role in the world for people who are not teaching who are advocates for teachers, and you are that. You offer a glimpse into what is hard for teachers, and why they need support. Good luck in all of your endeavors!
Stacey says
I have been teaching for 13 years…general ed., resource, inclusion, and the past 2 years in a classroom very similar to yours- which have been the best ever. HOWEVER, I have 2 young children, and was teary eyed reading why you resigned. I feel I may have been led to your blog. I would really like to hear more about what you are doing now, how you built a clientele, and how you went about it all. I have been thinking about various possibilities for my future. Please email me… I know how you felt— I’m feeling it!
April says
Christina,
I just found your site. Currently I am looking forward to finishing this school year. I am also a special education teacher and it’s time consuming! I love my job and my kids but it’s time to stay home and focus on my ministry here in the home. I know it will be tough to leave since I’ve seen these kiddos grow from their freshmen year to junior year. Thank you for your post, this really encourages me. I look forward to visiting your site often. God Bless!
Katie says
Hi,
I came across your post and I was so amazed how you described your experience teaching children with autism because it is EXACTLY the way I am feeling! I’ve only been teaching for 3 years… year #1: I taught a substantially separate ASD classroom for grades 3-5, year #2: I taught in a substantially separate ASD classroom for PreK children ages 3-5, year #3: in my current position, I am teaching a substantially separate ASD classroom grades 5-8…. The way you described your experiences teaching, how your job became your life, is EXACTLY how I am! I eat, sleep, breathe, for “my kids” and my work consumes my life. I never feel like my work is done, there’s always something (or a lot of somethings) left on my “TO DO” list. Most of the time I feel like I suck at what I do. I feel so overwhelmed, all the time. I feel like I am not teaching my students enough…. I feel like I am not doing enough, even though its humanly impossible for me to do anything more! I feel burnt out… I thought this was my DREAM job, working with children with autism in a substantially separate classroom… but I am constantly second guessing every decision I make on a daily basis. At this moment, I have 3 IEP’s to write, another IEP meeting tomorrow, a “rigorous standards-based thematic units” to create (principal requested), para schedules, etc. I do not have a prep and I have students in my classroom from 7:45-3:30…. I drive 50 minutes home at the end of the day and begin more school work. It’s never ending. I am so happy to find out I am not the only one feeling this way. Everyone says it will get easier the more years teaching you have under your belt but I still feel like I am at square one…. argh. Thank you for reading my rant! :/
Ebony Ham says
Christina,
Thank you for sharing your story. This is my 6 year teaching. I first started out as a special education teacher, now I have been teaching regular education for 3 years. I love teaching and truly believe it is my calling. I do not think I am THE best, but I am pretty good. I also have a 1 year old and a 4 year. I feel like the worst mother of the year and the worst teacher of the year. Oh, and I am also married! It is so hard finding the balance. My husband feels bad for me all the time. We live pay check to pay check, so I could not just stay home and take care of the kids. I have also been praying and seeking God on what to do because I can’t keep living my life like this. My husband works at night on the weekends, so I can’t spend my whole weekend preparing for the next week because I have two kids to take care of. You are telling my life right now and I am so clueless on what to do. How is Mary Kay working for you?
Allison says
I just saw this blog after being linked to your site from the rug giveaway. I wondered why you left. You were an amazing teacher and I was blessed to work in your classroom with the little guy. It was one of favorite placements. You obviously cared for those children and were thoroughly prepared and made a difference in their lives. My husband`s a teacher and works constantly at school and home doing prep. I think most of the public have no idea how much teachers work. Anyway, glad you are able to be home more and able to enjoy time with your husband and your little baby on the way!
Stacie Slaughter-Gottsch says
I too went through the same steps. I was a certified in Special Ed. in L.D, and M.R. with an endorsement in Sever and Profound Disabilities. I did a special study in Autism, and Rare disorders. I loved teaching but would get up at 5 am and work until 7 or 8 pm then paperwork at home. I did one year in Elementary, but the rest I spent in High school. I spent a few years in and inner city school….burned out and moved to a very rural area and taught another year. I met an married my husband and told him I would work until I became pregnant. ( I was told that I could never get preggers, and if I did never carry to term…I had reoccurring cancer from the age of 11. So I figure it would not happen.) Shortly after I got married to my surprise but with God’s grace I got pregnant. That was 11 years ago. I now have two beautiful young boys one 10 and the other 8. My job did help me when my youngest son was born very premature. He also had physical issues. With my training I realized it quickly and thanks to the state I now live in I was able to get him help right away free of charge. He is now 8 and has no real last effect other than a small speech issue that he is getting help with. My heart broke with the loss of my job and yet I knew it was the right choice. Being beaten up let alone the physical strain on me was just more than I could deal with. I so get what you mean when you say you loved them, almost too much since they were not yours.
There is no question it was the best decision for me and my family. My boys are amazing they work hard and no doubt I made the best choice. But now I wonder what I should do as I feel that I lost who I was. I can’t go back as my health has really gone down the tubes. But who am I now? I love being a Mom and I love being there for my boys but I need a bit more. I hope you can find the joy and love with your new life and congrats on finding out how to be more to! You are the first person that I have ever been able to talk to about this choice, as I was a third gen. teacher and both my Mom and Grandmother worked 30+ years and retired from teaching. Good luck and know my prayers are with you! Also thank for the fun posts of your crafting.
Lindsey says
I am 23 and I feel like I am in your position right now. I wake up dreading going to work, even though I love what I do, I just can’t continue on the way I’ve been. I have also been running my own business creating websites and doing online marketing for small businesses. I am working CONSTANTLY. I am almost debating on not going out this weekend to work on my own businesses work. 🙁 I would LOVE to be self sufficient and be able to spend quality time with the people I love instead of always working.
Do you have any words of advice on how to handle becoming self employed?
Loved your blog, and it’s truly inspiring!
MJ says
I currently am in your shoes! I am 25 and student taught in an autistic support classroom – probably in a district close to where you were! i love my students, i love my job, but it is quickly becoming my life. I have always had a passion and curiosity to learn about autism spectrum disorders so this too was my dream job. The job itself is absolutely grinding. I am luckily single and young and full of energy, but my life and energy are being drained to do everything I can to support my kids and be a good teacher. It is really a tough scenario, for now my heart and head are telling me to stick it out for at least 2 more years to see where I am. We will see where my journey takes me. I hope you are happy with what you are doing at this point! I would love to hear more about your journey.
Andi Cacciatore says
I’m reading this post AGAIN, after 5 years – it came up on my Facebook memories feed today from when I first shared it. I could so relate to your decision, though I had twice the years of life on you, and diying experience! I was inspired to become a single mom blogger, but life just kept pushing that dream back to the bottom of the pile of needs. Now facing a tiny income on social security, and early retirement living with my daughter and prince of a son-in-law to care full time for my precious grandson, I can finally go for it! I’ve found your recent blog on how to make money blogging, and want to let you know how much I appreciate your inspiration and help and feel so blessed to have found your story again!
Christina says
Andi! You made my day! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment – send me your blog address – I’d love to check it out! 🙂
leo says
Christina, I have been teaching for 16 years and if I would’ve know all the work involved, (lost weekends to planning, staying past contracted time to leave, paperwork, observations, etc…) I never would have gotten into teaching. I started my teaching career late in life, and it makes no sense to up and start a new career at 54 years old. This is definitely a difficult job, that does leave you feeling burned out and drained. I pray you continue to be led by our Lord in His direction. Take care and I applaud your decision to do the right thing in terms of your career.
Jen says
I don’t know how I stumbled on this blog post but it must have been divine intervention. Last June, I made the exact same decision you did and resigned my teaching job after seven years in the classroom. I too am not yet pregnant but I know that I want my focus to be on my future family. Resigning was such a difficult decision to make but I absolutely knew it was the right decision. After I left, it was so hard to explain my decision to others but your post says it all so eloquently – it is the PERFECT explaination for the choice that we made. I hope everything worked out for you and thank you for putting my emotions, thoughts and feelings into words!
Christina says
You are NOT alone, Jen!! Thanks for taking the time to comment – this was years ago but I remember those feelings like it was yesterday! And yes – life is better on the other side 😉