Yes, you read the title correctly. I am a 25 year old woman, who’s been married for almost 3 years, and my husband, Buckley, and I are moving to my parent’s house.
I’ve been debating about writing this post for a while now. I wasn’t sure how to write/present it, and I have felt like I’ve been hiding this from you guys, and that’s the last thing I want to do. SO, here’s the abbreviated version for your reading pleasure:
1. We got married in 2008, and my husband started grad. school full-time 2 months after we got married.
2. He went to Westminister Theological Seminary (Masters in Theology) with the hopes of teaching at a community college after graduation.
3. Fast forward to December 2010- and my husband’s finished with school, with no job leads (despite searching for hours a day, at every state in the US, willing to move).
4. After realizing that a full-time college teaching job in this economy would require PhD work, we are swallowing the fact that we will need to get started on that sooner than expected.
5. A PhD is essentially a 3 year commitment (he wouldn’t be able to start until Fall 2012, + 2 years of coursework) plus the time it takes for a dissertation. THIS was the hardest part for me to swallow. We had spent the past 3 years waiting for school to be OVER so we could begin earning 2 salaries, save money to put a down payment on a house, and start a family. Realizing that this would push that 3 years farther away was so sad!
6. My parents saw that this was not an easy decision for us, and tried to figure out what they could do as parents to help us.
My parents have offered to make an apartment in their basement that we could live in RENT-FREE so we can focus on saving money, and we won’t have to prolong our dreams of home ownership and starting a family for 6 years, but we could start as soon as 3 years from now. WOW, how can you say no to that?!
There’s already a bedroom, bathroom, and living space in the basement. There is a separate entrance (so we don’t have to walk through my parent’s house every time we go in and out) but there was no kitchen. SO, my generous parents are having a contractor building a kitchen as we speak for the basement!
I think the only thing that’s bothering me now about this whole situation is my pride. I don’t like telling people that I’m “moving in with my parents”. I feel like people will just think that we “failed” at living on our own. In reality, we have lived off of my income alone for the past 3 years, and are very capable of doing it again. BUT it was not allowing us to save the money we will need to buy a house. The focus will be to save, save SAVE the next few years, and I love it!
I can honestly say that I am REALLY excited about our new place! Yes, it will be small. Yes, it’s not a place of our own. BUT I truly love my family, and I am so thankful that my parents were able to extend this to my husband and I. We can’t wait to get in our new place and begin to put money in our savings account, as well as some loans from school. Mom and Dad – I love you and I am SO thankful you are investing in this for us…thank you!
Of course, this will make a great DIY adventure!! This is why I couldn’t wait to tell all of you! I will be posting pictures of the demolition and progress of the space…and I can’t wait to share in this adventure with all of you 🙂
If you’ve read to the end of this post, you deserve a blogger gold star 🙂 And I hope you’ve already entered my give-away! Can’t wait to share pictures with you tomorrow of the new place! 🙂
*Edit*- Another plus…I’ll be able to stay at my job because my parents live locally…and I’ll get tenure & be able to work more on my masters 🙂 Woo hoo!!
That is very generous of them! Good luck in your next endeavor and I really hope that this will help you guys out in the saving department.
yeessss i got a blogger gold star. I don't think there's anything wrong with that! Maybe if you were living in your old bedroom with mom still cooking your dinners and packing your lunches…haha. No, but that's awesome you get your own space and can save money. Do they live near you guys currently?
Woo hoo I love gold stars! I have to say that your parents totally rock, give them a big hug from me. Who cares what people say. If they are not helping you save money for your dream house then they shouldn't say anything. And if they do say something tell them that you are only taking "advice" from people that are helping. Good luck to you all and I can't hardly wait for the pictures to be posted
I was in a similar scenario this time last year! That's great that the folks are giving you your own apartment space.. small sacrifices now for big rewards later! You guys will rock that little apartment and I'm sure you'll be able to save tons of money! Can't wait to see the progress!
What amazing parents you have!!! I can't wait to see how you decorate the space!!
My husband and I also spent a couple of years in my parent's basement suite. We now have a great home and our two boys to fill it! It is definitely worth it and you are so lucky to have such fabulous parents! Have fun getting settled and decorating the new place. Can't wait to see what you do!!! 🙂
It sounds like a great opportunity and a very generous offer from your parents! Don't be embarrassed about it! You guys have made a very responsible decision and it will allow you both to achieve your dreams (PhD, house, family). Sounds perfect!
Sounds WONDERFUL– You should NOT be ashamed or embarassed, you've been given an incredible oppotunity to move forward with your lives together and make your future brighter. Run with it, enjoy it, and save, save, save girlfriend! 🙂
I am kind of embarrased to comment to this blog…since I am Christinas Mom. Thanks for all the praise…we will all win in this situation. We love our daughter and son in law and will LOVE having them nearby but also know that we are all living in our seperate "houses". We are blessed with a big home and love to share it. Besides….what can be better then having my own decorator near by?
Christina,
As others have already stated, you shouldn't be ashamed at all!!! To me, this sounds like a wonderful plan. 3 years isn't much time at all when you consider most folks live to be at least 70. My guess is that you will look back on this and be as thankful as you are today if not even more so.
I am looking forward to the decorating you do at your new place!!!!
That's a great idea!! We did that for the first year we were married! 🙂 I really helped!
Bonnie
Sounds more like solid planning than any kind of failing. It's hard to get ahead, and North America is full of couples struggling to survive financially because they were too concerned with maintaining a certain image while reality just didn't match it. Kudos to your mom and dad, too!
How incredibly awesome! You will be so glad that you didn't let your pride get in the way when you purchase your first home. It will have all been worth it! Can't wait to see the new place!
Hannah
So excited for you! My husband and I are currently coming to the end of our time living at my parents house; we've lived here with them for the past year for essentially the same reasons (saving money for a home of our own). Definitely a hard decision. Definitely worth it in the end. Don't worry what other people think or say. You're being so smart to take your parents up on their generous offer. What a blessing to have such great folks! Best of luck–and have fun!
I think this is so awesome, Christina!! And, as you said, it'll be great for your blog. I understand the pride thing, but this is what is best for you, your marriage, and your future. Your parents are so wonderful to offer this to you. I'm really happy for you. 🙂
Cheers,
Tracy All Thumbs Crafts
Christina, sadly this is a conversation I had with my Mom today. I graduated from a university a year and a half ago. I hoped to become a high school teacher. This economy, however, showed me that despite graduating with honors, being highly qualified, and passing my necessary state exams, jobs have not opened up for me. After talking with my mom, I'm going to search the gov job sites and "see what's out there." Not where I pictured I would be. 🙁 However, I am excited for you and your hubby as I see this as a new beginning. Many blessings!
Who cares what other people think? I say, consider yourself blessed you have such supportive parents, AND such a driven hubby. Best of luck to you both!
~K
Girl…I put my husband through school being the only one who worked while he did it and I was supporting a family of five. If you have help…TAKE IT! Don't be ashamed! Good Luck and I am happy for you guys!
You are very lucky to have such great parents willing to help you two out!! It will be a great experience for all of you!! You have nothing to be ashamed of you are following your dreams and that is all that matters! Good luck and I can't wait to see photos.
xoxo
Kelli @loveoursimplelife.blogspot.com
You are so blessd to have parants that can help. It looks like a lovely place. I've learned over the years that your health and love of family and friends is what is most important. This econonomy is touqh. After living in a small home for five years, my husband and I had to make the decision to stay in it and make it as nice as we could afford. And this was a big pill to swallow as I sold a custom built home to save money. We live in a very deprssed economy, and although we make good money our house lost a ton of value. At our ages we did not want to take on a large mortgage and 30 more years of payments. Make your new home, cozy and loving. Three years will fly by and you are very young! Just enjoy every moment. By the way, I am a dog mommy too!
Since you'll have your own apartment you're not really moving in with them – just under them!! Don't sweat it — it's admirable that you're pushing forward…when my husband got his PhD a few years ago at KU we started with 1 kid and ended with 2 and were living in dumpy graduate student housing — sure wish I would have had the option that you have; you're luck! Enjoy!
It takes so much courage to swollow your pride and take this step, for the sake of your future. When we moved across the country from WY to MD, (because my husband graduated and no jobs in WY) we had to live with my husband's mother for a few monhts until we found jobs and a place to stay. It was an adjustment, of course, but we could not have done it without them. It sounds like you have a sweet deal, but of course it is easy to look at the negative aspect of it. It will be tough but I know you will get through it and banking that money for your future will help you get through it!
Hey read you post and found it very interesting. My brother and his wife have been living at my parents house for over a year now and they have a baby on the way…I am so jealous of them, that they get the luxury of being with my parents all the time. Also in sooo many cultures moving in with the parents or the parents moving in with you is very common. So don't get all caught up on your pride, you made the smart decision and I don't think you will ever regret that! Plus you are opening so many doors with your new adventures!
i know it seems hard to do but you have to do whats best for you guys. my husband and i moved in with my grandma and dad in a teeny tiny 3 bed 1 bath house and lived out of a bedroom for a year while we were getting ready to buy our house. THAT was tough, more than tough. We had to live by her rules, I felt like I was in high school again! we were in our late 20s and married for like 5 years maybe 6. It'll be great! Good luck
What a wonderful offer your parents are making you. Now you can focus on what is important to your future. Good luck in this new adventure.
You should NOT be ashamed of this! So many people do this to save money… and in this economy we have to do what we can! My parents lived with my grandparents when they had me and first moved to the states. I also work with a guy who lived with his inlaws for the past 2 years. They have 3 (with one on the way) beautiful kids and just finished building their own house from the money they saved. Don't feel worried about sharing this news… be grateful that you are making a step for your future with your husband. Best of luck!
Praise God for loving and supporting family! So happy for you that you have this option! Also, this is very good news for your local friends and family, to know you expect to be in the area for another 3 years!- Sybrina K.
I realize I am a little late on this response but I think this is great!! I would love to have the same opportunity to save money…but, alas, we will only spend with our house.
Haha! You sound almost just like my husband and I!! We are 25 as well and have been married almost 3 years (12/2008). He is finishing up seminary at Truett and looking into PhD programs too with an emphasis in OT, and a strong Hebrew background (the choice is b/t Princeton, Duke, Emory, and Baylor). See…. ry similar lives! Anyways, glad you made the decision to move in and save money. Be proud of that, even though at one time I would’ve been prideful about it too, but no judgement here. BTW, with the pictures from the House Tour, it looks fantastic! Keep up the great work 😀
I thought I would test emphasizing the word “very,” however, it came out “ry” So, it should read, “See…very similar lives” 😀
WOW that’s SO funny!! I am amazed at how our lives are so similar!! Thanks so much for the comment and the kind words…it’s great to hear from other people who are living lives like ours 🙂
C,
Sheesh, I just read this now (2012) and am blessed by the counter-culture way you all are working this out. The economy IS hard, and now you are on an even NEWER adventure in your career change. You have my prayers and encouragment! Go girl, you are very talented and I am so glad to be connected to you via the e-world! Hugs!!!